Welcome To The Machine (A.K.A. Wooly Bully)

A newborn Author being brought into the world is a beautiful thing, new to the world and full of promise and unlimited potential.


Quit your bitching, that book won't write itself, y'know...
 

And much like an actual newborn Human child, an Author's impact on the world relies heavily on how it's raised. For example, a spoiled child will be raised to think that the universe revolves around them and they can do no wrong, believing that they are the next big thing, a New York Times Bestselling Author in the making! And who is usually responsible for those beliefs? The people who raise them up. In an Author's case, this would fall upon the shoulders of whomever reads their work before it is unleashed upon the world. As I tell all new Authors that happen across my path, the absolute WORST thing you can do is let close friends, family, and other assorted loved ones read your material in the beginning.
"But Mr. Osborne!" You bellow, "They all say I'm great, I'm the next big thing! They encourage me to keep writing!"


"You're gonna be bigger than Stephen King, I just know it!"

Therein lies the problem.
Those people are going to tell you what you want to hear, thinking that they have your best interests at heart, building your confidence and placing you ever so gently on a golden pedestal. So you publish your work via self-publishing or God forbid, a Vanity Press! (Get thee behind me, Satan!)
You're on top of the world!
Then the 'real world' comes a calling, and suddenly people are (Gasp!) criticizing you! Telling you that you're not as wonderful as Mommy and Daddy promised, and Holy Hell does it hurt, it hurts BAD. 'How dare they say those mean things? They're just jealous of my amazing talent!'

"But...But..."

 

 

Now, before you start lighting the torches and sharpening the pitchforks, hear me out for a minute. I'm not saying that you might suck just because you're relying on biased opinions meant to spare your feelings. You might be actually on to something, and could very possibly be the next Stephanie Meyer! (Please Don't Be.) What I'm saying is that before you get your hopes up, let 'qualified' people take a look at what you got, and while you may be fortunate enough to already know 'qualified' people, there's a very good chance they'll just tell you what you want to hear. 

Other Authors, Bloggers, and a nearly infinite amount of readers out there will be more than happy to look at your 'baby' and give a completely unbiased opinion, but prepare yourself...

 

They might say 'mean' things. They'll tell you what you NEED to hear, and you may not like it. In fact, some of it may crush your immortal soul, but this is not necessarily a bad thing.

 



Get used to making this face is what I'm saying.

 

This is called a 'learning experience', take the advice given for what it is.

Help.

Most Indie Authors, Bloggers, and Readers are supportive to inhuman levels, they're just trying to help you along on your path to fulfilling your dream. Listen to them. Learn from the negatives. Sure, there may be a few 'Trolls' that have nothing better to do than make your life miserable, but majority rules here. If there's only a few naysayers, and a great many more supporters, just ignore the Trolls, everyone else will.

Feed off of their hate and let it empower you and make you strong.

"One Star for using a Oxford Comma?!?"

 

The 'spoiled' children out there will likely think of this honest criticism as 'Bullying', and to them I say, "Grow the hell up." Whomever promised you that this particular business is all 'Puppies and Rainbows' was utterly full of shit.

 

*Results not guaranteed.

 

It can be a tough, scary world out there for the unprepared, so be prepared. People will say mean things, they will make you reconsider your dreams and doubt yourself, sometimes on a daily basis. It's going to be a rough road, so it's best to develop a thick skin early on and strap on a helmet.

Or better yet...

 

In closing, I'd like to add that if you're unable to withstand any negativity or criticism of any kind, just stop where you are and turn back, because it doesn't matter how good you are or how popular you become, there will always be someone more than happy to kick you square in the babymaker just because they can. No one is safe. King, Rowling, Hemingway, Shakespeare, Rice, ALL of them have had angry villagers beating down their doors riled up for a lynching, so take a page out of their book, fortify your defenses and you just might survive the night.

 

*Results not guaranteed, but far more likely.