Author Interview with Michael Hammor.

Before we begin, a short introduction to todays Interviewee:

Michael Hammor.

Michael Hammor is a homeless vet living in an RV with his famliy. They live somewhere is the desert near Bisbee and Sierra Vista. MH was laid off from a DOD contract job at the local military base.
MH has chosen to support his famliy by writing the sick little stories in his head. Previously, MH has been a Janitor, a soldier, a photographer, and a Military Intelligence Instructor. MH has trained over 600 soldiers, how to find, fix, and finish, the Enemy.

 

-Living in the Arizona desert must have played a key part in building the world you've created with Bedtime Tales From The Apocalypse, where did the idea for the actual story come from?

 

 Where did the inspiration for my current series come from? I was deployed to Iraq in 2008-2009. I left behind my 11 month old daughter and my chronically ill wife. I was gone for a little more than a year. I had the same worries as every soldier; what will happen to my family after I die. Since I am paranoid, I amplified that question with “What will happen to my family if the world ends and I can’t get home because infrastructure has collapsed?”

 The nucleus of the story was formed. The Girl is my daughter, basically. Rather, the monster she was forced to become through circumstances and my not being there to protect her.

 The Arizona desert did play a large role. There is no tougher environment to attempt to survive in than the desert. Other locales have it easy; plenty of water, good soil, and plentiful game. The desert is no joke.

 

 -Out of all the Post Apocalyptic stories out there, what separates yours from the rest?

 

What separates my work from the multitude of other apocalyptic fiction? I have found one other indie author, Katie Salidas, which writes anything remotely like my series. I spent a decade in Military intelligence developing realistic scenarios to predict enemy behavior. I used this experience to develop the universe I placed my characters in. I added a splash of the paranormal because the wife and I are Supernatural Junkies, and I grew up on horror, paranormal, and fantasy books.

 In my current series the world ended in slow slide into anarchy. The Veils between worlds thinned and supernatural and metaphysical beings crossed into my character’s reality, as I am sure some normal humans accidently found themselves transported to a strange reality in which their normality was suddenly supernatural.

 Basically my current series is The Road meets Supernatural. Katie Salidas’ work is set 200 years after the end of the world, mine is set less than twenty years after the fall of man.

 

-Since you're releasing these stories as a 'serial', any plans to put them all together in a single book once the story is finished?

 

That is the plan, Justin. Once I finish the sixth and final book in this phase of the series, I will bundle the books together and rewrite them into a novel with some expanded content. It will be entitled, Daughter of the Apocalypse. I have plans for two more novels released as serials to fully complete the series.

 

-If Bedtime Tales From The Apocalypse were to be adapted to film or TV, who would you pick to direct?

 

That is a tough question, Justin. I like the directing in the Walking Dead, Battle Star Galactica, and the humor in Firefly. The most important thing is that the spirit and message of my work is preserved. One more thing, I won’t allow them to cast some raven haired fox as the Girl. The story is set in a society in ruin. Thigh high boots and a pair of Desert Eagles are way out of character. The Girl is a vagrant, she is always dirty, she probably stinks, and she clothes herself in cast off or salvaged clothing. She is petite, so the clothes are almost always too big. She’s plainly attractive, not hot.
I write this series as if you are watching it on screen. I don’t include a ton of fluff. My writing is direct and to the point.

 My biggest fantasy is having this series picked up for a tv show or movie. That would solve my financial issues and be massively cool.

 

-Do you have any other stories demanding to be told in the works?

 

I am currently working on a Sci-fi stand alone novella about a clunky, obsolete spaceship and her gritty, jaded, cynical captain. It’s sort of a homage to Han Solo and the Millennium Falcon, but more realistic. I was dissatisfied with Star Wars, so I am putting my own spin on it.

 I am also working on a collaboration with Stacey Welsh. It’s a thriller series (Novellas) featuring a young mother forced into doing the unthinkable to save herself. As it turns out, by the second book, she’s good at it.

 I also write shorts for a magazine, Far Horizons. I published a prologue to my current series, and an unrelated apocalyptic short entitled, The Lottery.

 

-Giving your current 'living situation', has it been difficult funding your writing career (editing, covers, marketing, etc.)?

 

Justin, it has been very difficult funding my career. I am currently unemployed and living in a small town that is totally dependent on the local military base. The base continues to cut the civilian workforce and our town is slowly dying. I am not the only author in our town. Connie Roberts-Huth and Brenda J. Kurtz write fantasy and live nearby. We correspond regularly and I was even interviewed last month for Brenda’s blog. Connie helps with occasional editing.

 Since I have no budget, I do what I can using free services from various websites that promote indie authors for no cost. I advertise on face book and twitter. Occasionally I participate in live events. Connie hosts a vendor expo here in town twice a month.

 I used to be a photographer so I shoot all my own cover images. I do all my own photoshop work. The model for the Girl was a local young homeless woman. About the time I asked her to model for me she got pregnant! It was a few weeks before we could shoot. She had started to lose the gauntness I was looking for but I am still very satisfied with the results. She is now living in a house in Tucson with her boyfriend and they are expecting a little boy in a few months. 

 My editing is handled by a good friend of mine, Jeffrey Covert. I list him as Clandestine Publishing Services on my kindle listings. Once a friend of mine gets her publishing company off the ground I will publish my series through her company.

 

-Who has influenced your writing?

 

That is a long list. I grew up reading Stephan King, Piers Anthony, Mercedes, Lackey, Heinlein, Dick, Asimov, and others. I was a voracious reader. I have been reading more indie authors lately like Alexia Purdy, J. McCoy, and Katie Salidas. Tolkein has had the biggest influence. He created a whole world with religions and races and included mythos. An amazing amount of work went into that. I can’t imagine.

 

-To you, what are the pros and cons of 'Traditional Publishing' over 'Self-Publishing'?

 

There is a huge divide between Indies and “Real” authors. The Pros of traditional are: Larger exposure, bigger payouts, less self promotion. The cons are: Loss of creative freedom, the rarity of getting selected and published, and the constant rejection.

 The Pros of Indie publishing are: Freedom, creativity, and the satisfaction of knowing that you and only you are responsible for your success. The cons are: Lack of exposure, self promoting, and knowing that you and only you are responsible for your lack of success.

 Self promotion is the largest hurdle. I spend nearly a hundred hours writing and rewriting. I spend thousands of hours on promotions. Sometimes I promote for 8 hours in a day and reap only a single sale. This is not an easy trade.

 My biggest peeve is the amount of money that my vendors keep. They do nothing to promote my work. Nothing! So why do they think they get to keep 70% of every dollar I try to make? Sadly, readers pay attention to Amazon listings and rankings. Indie authors really don’t have another option, amazon owns a huge share of the market.

 I was solicited by a publisher a while back. I was talking to one of their new authors and they liked what I was saying. They asked me to submit my work and I never heard back from them. I emailed them a few times and get excuses back. They offered a $500 advance which would have paid a lot of bills.

 

-What was your reaction when people started reading and leaving reviews for your stories?

 

The first person to ever read a prototype of The Girl With No Name is now my editor. He works for free in exchange for being the first to read my books. It was his encouragement that drove me to publish. I love reviews. I do a little happy dance every time I get one. I love feedback, even negative feedback as long as its constructive. The two worst reviews you can ever get are ‘Its great!’ and ‘It sucks!’. Those tell a potential reader nothing about your work.

 

-What marketing tactics do you find to be the most productive?

 

The most productive tactic as far as sales go are promoting with book lists. There are eight that I use regularly. I make more sales in a single day with these lists than I do with any other method. I also participate in several facebook groups. People end up asking for my links and I sell books. I am also a member of several forums with 100k plus membership and I post my books there once in a while and I always see a huge bump in sales.

 

Here are the listings I use:

 

www.readcheaply.com
www.ohfb.com
www.ebooklister.com
www.pixelofink.com
www.theereadercafe.com
www.readingdeals.com
www.ebookasaurus.com
www.bookpraiser.com

 

I also find that interviews help. Exposure always helps and an interview lets you express your personal side that many readers never get to see.

 

-What marketing tactics do you find the LEAST effective?

 

The marketing tactics I have found to be the least effective are spamming facebook groups and waiting for people to stumble upon your work. I know I basically ignore any book spam I see in a facebook group. For one, I have no money, and secondly, I can’t possibly read any more books than I am now. One of the benefits of being an author is that when you make friends with other authors, they all send you their books for free!

 Free promotions do not work, at least in my experience. Most authors have flooded the market with free books. There are just too many to choose from. I have 800 free books on my kindle account right now. I never buy the other books. That might be because I’m dirt poor, but part of it is that there are so many free books to enjoy that I don’t need to buy any.

 I haven’t had a lot of success with live events, either, but I will still keep doing them when I can.

 

-Other than your current genre, what other genres would you like to take a shot at?

I am currently writing a sci-fi novella as well as a thriller collaboration. I mentioned them before. I’d like to write some straight horror someday. Readers often ask me why I don’t write military themed books. The answer is simple, it’s too soon. I can’t face that part of my life in that much detail yet.

  am toying with the idea to co-write a children’s book with my daughter. She is drawing way above her level, utilizing perspective and composition. I am very proud. She comes from two very creative and talented parents.

 

-What genre would you never consider writing?

I could never write romance or erotica. I did write a short romance based in the world of my current series, but that is the exception. It’s for a breast cancer benefit anthology. Hopefully I will get some extra exposure. I also have a short story slated for a different anthology coming out in a few months.

I know I could make some fast money writing erotica but it lacks creativity. There is only so much you can do with sex. I suppose I could write a novel shell, change names, occupations, and hair color and release the same book over and over. Brett the cowboy becomes Brent the Pilot trying to woe Josephina the Latina Bartender who becomes Joanna the waitress. I also don’t want to explain to my daughter later where the money came from.

Michael's Website.

http://www.bedtimetalesfromtheapocalypse.com/

Michael's Facebook Page.
https://www.facebook.com/mike.hammer.54390

Michael's Blog.
http://michaelhammor.blogspot.com/


 

 

 

Show yourself, sell yourself.

So, you've finished your book.

Yeah, it kinda feels just like this.

It's been formatted and edited to a fine sheen, it's nearly perfect. Your cover is a surefire attention grabber. All is well, and you're ready to promote the ever-loving hell out of it. It's time to Rock. And Roll. All night long.
But hold up just a minute there, kid. You're not quite done yet. There's work yet to do, and it's gonna be a hell of a lot harder than convincing people to read your book.
Every successful product needs a brand name to instill trust in the customer, and in the literary world, that brand name is YOU. The Author.

This picture pretty much sums up your reaction, I bet.

That's right, not only do you have to thrust your book into the spotlight, you gotta be in there too. And to many Authors, fresh or seasoned, this idea is as terrifying as anything Lovecraft could ever imagine.

Generally speaking, Authors are a shy bunch for a variety of reasons. You can test this theory by simply looking at some Author's Facebook Profile Pictures. Note how many use pictures of animals, celebrities, cartoon characters, damn near everything but their actual face?
Honestly, if you're doing this, just stop.

It doesn't matter how good it is, nobody wants to read a book written by a chicken.

If you want people to take you (and your work) seriously, you need to show them the 'real' you, warts and all. You may not feel you're photogenic enough, and you may be right, but how many of us are?
Unless you're Michael Ness, that is.

Hello Ladies.

Seriously, look at this guy. Ridiculously Photogenic Author Guy indeed. That's some daunting shit for most of us right there, but your face is your logo for your name brand. You need to show it, readers like a face to associate with the book.
Another point to consider is that if you're going to use your own picture, choose carefully. Not just any old picture will do. You'll want to choose an existing picture, or even take a new one that portrays you as a representative of whatever genre you write in. For instance, if you write Erotica, don't use something like this:

Hello? Ladies?

Probably not the image you're going for, is it? Get a razor, get rid of the camo, and clean it up. On the same page, if you write Horror, don't use a picture with you smiling in unbridled bliss at the beach.

So now you've chosen a good visual representation of yourself and your work, you're all done, right?
No. Sit back down, we're not done quite yet.
You may be familiar with the recent Chelsea Cain flustercluck. If not, here's a quick recap:
She recently went 'full retard', and lambasted her own fans for 'asking stupid questions'. She quickly recanted when she was spanked by her publisher for being an idiot, and went ahead and pretty much said the same thing again, but in a slightly different way. She lost a LOT of current fans, and alienated many more potential readers because of it.
Handy Hint? Don't EVER do anything like that. It's like shooting your writing career straight in the face.
Although at times it may be tough, but since you're the 'face' of your product, you have to maintain some sort of professional decorum pretty much at all times. I'm not saying you have to be a suck-up ass kisser to your fans, but damn it, don't be an asshole when fans want to interact with you and dare to ask questions you may feel are stupid. Logically if you treat them like unworthy crap you scrape off of your shoe, eventually no one will want to read the book you worked so hard to put out, and you'll end up wallowing in a pit of nothingness that you yourself dug. Without readers, an Author has no purpose. Always remember that.

The Bad, The Trolls, and The Confusing. (Reviews.)

Today I want to talk about reviews, specifically BAD reviews. We all get them, EVERYBODY gets them, whether you're an Author or not. None are safe!
I can recall my first 'bad' review back when I was 5 years old or so. I had drawn a picture of a Chinese boat and showed it to my Ma. She looked it over and made a comment about 'Junk'.
I was devastated. Crushed. Hurt beyond words! I worked so hard on that picture, and the one whom I was trying to impress the most had called it 'Junk'!
I found out after my total meltdown, that Chinese boats were actually called 'Junks'
Oops.
It still hurt like a bitch though.
Bad reviews hurt, and they hurt real bad. Some are legitimate, some exist primarily to crush your spirit, and some are just downright confusing.

Wait...you admittedly don't like Vampires, but you read 'Vampire Beach Blanket Bonanza' anyway? The Hell?

Now, your first instinct will be to comment or reply to the reviewer to perhaps explain why they might have it 'wrong'. Ignore that instinct, don't say anything, it doesn't help and it kinda makes you look like a douche. If you're an Author, you DON'T want to look like a douche.
But not all bad reviews are 'bad', some can give legitimate critiques that you can learn from, to grow as an Author, to help you put a finer edge on your work. That's not to say that they still don't hurt, someone is still saying negative things about your 'baby'. Just treat these as advice from a concerned Grandparent.


"Oh Dear, your narrative prose is as dry as my Christmas turkey...you need some gravy."

Next, we'll cover the 'bogus' reviews, these are pretty easy to spot with a trained eye. These reviews are posted by someone who has nothing better to do than kick sand in your face. They'll eviscerate you mercilessly, and say horrible, horrible things. But you may notice that these reviews contain barely, if any, references to anything contained in your book. Goodreads is notorious for it's Troll Population. They allow 'reviewers' to do reviews without any confirmation that they actually read it, and the Trolls take full advantage of this.
Case In Point: Somewhere along the line, I must have REALLY upset 'Mike' (Imagine that.). He gave every single one of my releases One Star, even the ones no longer in print! Further investigation revealed that 'Mike' had only ever reviewed MY books. If you receive what you believe is a 'bogus' review, do some digging and you'll likely find it to be a personal attack for some reason or another. Dismiss these reviews, everybody else will. Seasoned Authors and Readers can spot these a mile away.

Artist's Rendition.

Now that we've discussed bad reviews and ways to deal with them, now we can shift gears and discuss a good way to (maybe) prevent them.

Editing.
Whether you're fortunate enough to be able to afford one, or like many of us, have to do it yourself. Editing is an absolute necessity. But it's not an absolute one-stop save-all though. I've caught a few errors in even Stephen King's books, and you can imagine what HIS editors must rake in.
If many of your bad reviews have to do with 'editing' issues, perhaps it's time to either A: Let someone else do it, or B: Get a better editor.
Recently, a certain pretentious douchebag that shall remain nameless...

^He kinda looks like this.

Stated that Editors changed the voice of the Author, thereby, making the finished work not entirely the Author's...
Just let the stupidity of that remark sink in for a moment.
Are you fully basted yet? Good. Carrying on.
That statement came from an 'Author' that proudly admitted that he's never used an Editor, and holy Hell does it shine through in his work.
Think of Editors as the 'Personal Trainers' of the literary world. The Authors do the bulk of the work, while the Editor is there to help you along, keep you motivated, and generally to 'tone you up'.
If your Editor starts doing the lifting for you, it's time to get another one.
Keep in mind that getting a good Editor doesn't guarantee that your finished product will be absolutely flawless, even the Great Ones put out 'flawed' work, despite their Editors being extremely well compensated.
So, the short and skinny of this ramble is learn from the 'critical' reviews and ignore the 'Troll' reviews.
As for the confusing ones? I wish I could help with that, I'm still trying to figure them out myself.

Hey, you never know...

Those of you that have tuned in yet again, know that I have a bit of a 'reputation', as it were. Certain terms have been thrown around, such as 'infamous', or 'Elitist Smasher' and so on. If you've read a few of my blog posts thus far, you'd probably be inclined to agree.
I just CAN'T tolerate bullying, and in the literary world, literary Elitists are the worst. They hit new Authors where it hurts the most, right in the ol' 'Hopes And Dreams'.

Coincidentally, 'Hopes And Dreams' are primarily located in the crotchetal area.
 

They will try to discourage you, mock you, nit-pick at your work, and sometimes even go as low as to outright insult you, all from atop their self-constructed pedestal all for the sole purpose of telling you that you aren't good enough to play with the big kids, hoping you'll leave the playground and go home.
My advice? Stand your ground and proclaim your right to be in this playground, it's big enough for everybody. How you do so is completely up to you, but do something.

I wont name any names, but one of them in particular kinda looks like this guy here.

They will often mock you from behind such ironclad defenses known as 'degrees' because they feel that it gives them the 'right' or 'authority' to do so. It absolutely fucking does NOT. They want you to think that THEY are the ones you need to impress to 'make it', and if you fail to do so, you're worthless. The funny thing is that if you do a little digging and look into these people, you'll often find the reason for their unwarranted bitterness with Indies as a whole. They couldn't/ can't hack it in 'Traditional Publishing' and refuse to get with the times, and channel their frustration on the more 'evolved' Authors. Some even go so far as to create a publishing house for themselves to create the illusion of being 'Traditionally Published', even though they're every bit as Indie as the rest of us.
It's kinda sad if you stop and think about that for a moment.

This is how they secretly see themselves, and in turn, expect from you.

In writing, there is only ONE entity you need to be concerned about impressing, that would be yourself. If you want to be successful, you'll want to add a second: The Reader. And when The Reader comes into play, your satisfaction with your work is secondary. Your future in this business lies solely with THEM, no one else. Just how far you go, depends on who your readers are. Be it an agent, a representative of a Publisher, or just a rabidly voracious 'casual' reader. If you can reach out and touch these readers appropriately (Or inappropriately, if you write Erotica) you're already in the game.
The Elitists and Trolls don't even factor into it at all, they don't get to make the decision on your worth, after all you're not writing for them, ARE you? You better not be, or I'll get out the ol' 'Learnin' Stick.'

AKA: The Board Of Education.

They say that there is a book for every reader, and in turn a reader for every book. It doesn't matter if you've written a brochure depicting a step by step hand sanitizing technique if you ever find yourself without toilet paper or the mind blowing adventures of a paraplegic chimney sweep in Victorian Era London. Someone, somewhere WILL want to read it. Will you be able to retire from your day job and live it up in a castle like J.K. Rowling after publishing? That's not for me to say, nor anyone else. Write whatever you want, whatever is in your heart of hearts, if you try hard enough, you WILL connect with someone.
Maybe your book on Amish Blacksmithing Techniques will be all the rage if we ever get roundhouse kicked back to the stone age, hey, you never know...

We. Are. Family.

Let's start off this post with a little something I wrote for my fellow Indies.

If you've read my very first post, you may recall how I lamented about breaking into the 'biz' and being confronted with crass 'Elitism', and the Elitist treatment of new authors. To this day, this ridiculousness continues, but on a much, MUCH smaller scale. You see, since then, we Indies have established ourselves as a burgeoning new dominant species in the literary world. We have put our collective feet down and stood our ground, even gaining ground in some aspects. Baby steps to be sure, but we ARE advancing toward our goals, whatever they may be.
Our only obstacles? The Elitists that will try and break our spirit, and attack us with outdated ideologies. They will tell us that we're not 'real' writers due to not having a publishing contract, or God forbid, scholastic credentials that apparently serve as 'The Golden Ticket into the club. They will dismiss us and cut us down whenever they can, just because they BELIEVE they can. They also believe that traditional publishing is the only way to go. These Elitists suffer from what I like to call 'Keith Richards Syndrome', they're dead and have been for some time, they just aren't aware of it.
It's almost kinda sad.


It was a joke, Keith. Calm down.

 

I could go on for ages about Elitists, but I won't. They get far too much airtime as it is, and this is my Goddamn show, so let's leave them to slowly wither and rot, shall we?

The title of this post is 'We. Are. Family.' Meaning the community of Indie Authors.  It's an analogy, and as I've mentioned in another post, I LOVE analogies.
So let's break this one down.
We are not a perfect family, we're not The Cosby's or whatever the current 'perfect family' may be at the moment. We bicker, we argue, we disagree, we might even come to blows if not protected by the anonymity of the Internet. Good thing that Virtual Reality never really took off, eh?
But despite the petty grumblings, we are a close-knit family that supports and encourages each other, at least for the most part. There are a few of us that haven't quite let go of the 'old ways' and still maintain hope that getting that contract will be their salvation from obscurity into the limelight.
And as much as it hurts to admit, they have a bit of a point.

Hurts, don't it?

The one thing that we, as Indies, haven't quite got the grasp of yet, is breaking down that wall that separates us from The Big Timers. Sure, some of us can compete with The Big Timers in a literary sense, I've read many an Indie book that wouldn't be out of place on those hallowed bookshelves, we can edit, or employ someone to edit with the best of them. If that were the only criteria, many of us would be doing quite well for ourselves, but alas, without the 'Brand Name' of a reputable publisher backing us, getting our name out there is like ice skating uphill. There is only so much we can do by ourselves, but Goddamn it, we are fighting the good fight. We do things that The Big Timers never have to do.

It ain't easy.

Just in case you didn't get the reference, I'm referring to what's being called 'Pimping' in the Indie world. We promote ourselves shamelessly almost to the point of embarrassment, we post relentlessly about our books, we give away our books hoping to gain an audience, beg for reviews, almost anything to draw attention to ourselves. Some of us don't like to do these things and would rather be writing and/or anything else that may resemble a living, breathing social life. But we HAVE to, or at least rely on others to help spread the gospel. That's where the word 'Family' comes into play.

Kinda like this, only not.

If you manage to make enough like minded friends, and find enough happy readers, you don't have to go it alone. Most other Indies will be happy to throw your name around, either out of the goodness of their heart or in exchange for you throwing THEIR name around, a fair enough exchange, no? Happy readers will also help out in this aspect, simply because they love your work, and feel that everyone else should too. Is it as effective as having your book plastered across two pages in the new York Times? Sadly, no. But as my good friend, Michael Ness says: "It's a marathon, not a sprint."
And he is absolutely right, if you're in this biz seeking instant gratification for all of your hard work, I have four words for you.

 

I'm not trying to be mean or discourage anyone from trying, mind you. Just advising you to prepare for a long and arduous journey. There WILL be times where it seems hopeless and hard, I'm not gonna sugarcoat it. You'll want to pack it in and give up, especially when you see The Big Timers raking it in, and you know in your heart of hearts that some of them suck dry hyena ass (Patent Pending). I know of more than a few great Indies that doubt themselves a lot more than they should because their ship hasn't quite come in yet. But that is when you turn to the 'Family', share your concerns, your doubts, your frustrations. For the most part, you will find support, encouragement, a shoulder to cry on if need be, because that's what a family is supposed to do.
What you absolutely must NOT do, is take heed of the naysayers (read: Elitists) that will prey on your doubts, your fears, if only to stroke their own unfounded egos. If confronted with one, you have two choices: You can ignore them and hope they go away back to the dark recess of their own fears and doubts, or you can do what I do and go straight for their throat, leaving them a twitching mass of detritus in the gutter, leaving them to regret ever crossing your path in the first place.

Pictured: The Aftermath.

If you enjoyed my quote at the top of the post, please feel free to cut, paste, and share it wherever you want. I wrote it for all of us who walk this path.

All's Faire...

It's a beautiful morning in 17^th century Tuscany, Italy as a breeze blowing in from the sea cools my brow as I sit and listen to a drunken pirate sitting on a barrel sing a song of love lost...

The scene is shattered like a dropped bottle of rum as a deafening roar drowns out the heartfelt shanty, but it is not the roar of a leviathan seeking revenge on unwary sailors, it's the unmuffled exhaust of a Harley Davidson motorcycle cruising down Main Street, not 100 feet away.

The unwelcome interruption slams me back into Lower Lake, California in the year 2014. A mother in jeans and high heels along with her young son in a Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle T-Shirt momentarily block my view of the pirate, who despite the interruption continues strumming on his guitar and singing away with more feeling and emotion than you'll hear from any of today's recording artists.

As the motorcycle continues on it's way and the mother and son pass, the shopkeep directly across from me steps out from his stand and joins the pirate for the second verse. I am whisked back into Tuscany and immersed once again in the local flavour.

It's a beautiful moment not found anywhere else but a Renaissance Faire.

While most people in this country celebrated the Memorial Day weekend with friends and family gathered around 'ye olde barbeque', I spent mine amongst Pirates, Knights, Ogres, Queens, and Noblemen amongst a great many more interesting characters.

To many 'Mundanes', or us 'regular people', the Ren Faire is a fun place to spend a day, buying all manner of trinkets, drinking a beer or two, or maybe even eating a turkey leg. To most of us Mundanes, the people who attend these Faires in 'Garb' (Don't call them costumes!) are just enjoying a silly hobby. Just something to do on the weekend just like they are, but this Ren Faire being my second and my being fortunate enough to get an inside view on it, I can tell you 'hobby' is the worst description you can cast on it. It's almost an insult.

For a great many of the attendees, performers, artisans, and vendors, it is a way of life, plain and simple. For most, this isn't just something to do for kicks, it's their entire livelihood. It's how they pay their bills in the 'real world'. If you see a man selling handmade leather goods or a lady plying her beautiful handmade jewelry, chances are that this is their sole source of income. These master craftsmen (craftspeople?) aren't in it for the money, as their sales can vastly change from Faire to Faire it's not exactly a stable source of income. Some even don't really charge for their services, such as face painting or telling you your fairy name. They simply provide fun things for the children to do. These folks rely solely on donations. I know of one that was just hoping to cover transportation costs.

Like I said. For the love.

All of them do it for the love of the whole experience, an experience each of them greatly contribute to. They dress in period garb, speak in period speech, in effect fully becoming a character out of history or fantasy. And during my time amongst them, I've rarely seen them 'break character', and never in front of the Mundanes. You just can't find a wholly immersive experience anywhere else like you can at a Ren Faire.

The performers or 'actors' play an equally large role in everything, many of them just walk around and interact with each other and the Mundanes and behave just as their characters would. Pirates will sometimes be hired by nobility to settle debts, and argue about the price afterward. A young squire will abscond with his beloved that has been betrothed to another, and be chased down through the streets beloved in hand, trying to escape the clutches of a furious Baron. Sometimes criminals are dragged through the streets in stocks to be humiliated by the masses. You really never know what's going to randomly happen at any given moment.

Sometimes the experience can even spill out into the 'real world', as witnessed in a ceremony where a local young man was officially 'Knighted' with all the bells and whistles before he was sent off overseas to serve his country as a medic.

Never before have I seen such a sense of brotherhood, of camaraderie, of family.

It's a family I'm proud to be a part of, if just for a weekend or two a year.

On a side note, be nice to Bob from Accounting, he just might be a battleaxe wielding Ogre in disguise.

There's been quite a bit of hubbub lately about Facebook limiting how many people can see posts from a 'Fanpage', and understandably so. Speaking for myself, I have 1'344 Fans on mine, and when I post something, only a 'chosen few' are able to see it.

I cannot confirm or deny that these are the 'Chosen Few' I'm talking about.

 

 

Some would argue that it's simply a matter of Facebook trying to make a quick buck off of Indie Authors, Musicians, Artists, what have you. If you want more people to see your posts, you're gonna have to pay for it. The problem is that many of these 'Artists', myself included, are simply not in a position to throw extra money at promotions. We do well enough to put food on the table and a roof over our heads, some more than others. Most of us started utilizing Facebook as a means to promote our works, and for a while it was wonderful. FREE Promotion, Yay!



With all the money I'm saving on promoting, I can afford to eat TWICE this week!

 

 

Now, as expected when something is free, people flocked to it like, well...

 

You get the picture.

 

Now, ALSO as expected, this creates a problem. That problem being 'OVERSATURATION'.

 

At this point in the Blog, I'm going to have to ask everyone to stay calm and not reach for the torches and pitchforks. (What's with you people and torches and pitchforks anyway?) I'm about to say something that may shock and/or enrage you.

Seriously, hear me out. You guys are ridiculous.

 

 

Facebook has a very good reason for limiting how many people see our posts.

 



Goddamn it, wouldn't making a salad instead be a better usage of your time?

 

It goes back to the somewhat necessary 'Caps Locked' OVERSATURATION I mentioned earlier.

Facebook users are allowed to 'Like' somewhere in the neighborhood of 5'000 pages, but most users 'Like' on average probably at LEAST 100. Just for shits and giggles we consider what would happen if Facebook showed you EVERY SINGLE post from every page you 'Like'? 

That's right, your Newsfeed is gonna be bombarded by every one of those pages, every time they post something. Even on one's 'personal' page, Facebook limits the amount of people that see each other's posts.

So, ask yourself...how many people are on your Friend's List? How many pages do you 'Like'? Can you look me straight in the eye and say that you seriously want to see EVERY SINGLE POST from EVERY SINGLE ONE of them?

Statistically speaking, even for a 'Casual' Facebook user, there simply isn't enough hours in the day to keep up with the deluge of Notifications you're gonna get hit with.

Not even THIS guy has the time.

 

So, all in all, the limitations SUCK, but they're there for a reason. Charging us saps to allow more views is the only conceivable way to wrangle the beast. Again, this SUCKS, but it's a necessary evil, because while EVERYONE wants all of their posts seen, NOBODY wants to see each and every one of everybody elses.

Now that I'm done playing 'Devil's Advocate', here's a cool picture of Al Pacino:

"Whattaya mean only 24 people saw my post??? I'm Al Frickin' Pacino!!!"